Author: rob.a.shearer

I don’t really care how many years of experience you have.
Until I know if it is 20 years of experience or one year of experience repeated 20 times.
What have you actually experienced?
What have you learned?
Who have you impacted?
What have you built?
Where have you been?
Did you take yourself on a journey through your work?
Or were you swept through the years in a job?
Some people blame the company, the boss, the economy, the president.
I want to know if you looked inside.
Did you do everything that you can do?
Did you learn and grow?
Are you a different person today than you were five years ago?
If that is the case, then join us.
Infuse your skills into our team.
Let’s grow even more together.
Intentionally and explicitly.

Words matter.
Attitude matters.
Choosing what we say, and how we say it, is critically important to communicating.
One section of a book I once read made me aware of how some people, men most commonly, use aggressive language which can make other people, often women, shut down.
This is not usually intentional, on either side of that channel, but it is no less real just because it is not consciously chosen.
I realized that this is one way in which some women are made to feel unwelcome in the workplace.

This awareness was powerful for me.
I am not generally an aggressive person, I am pretty even keeled.
As I started listening to myself talk, and re-reading my written word.
I saw aggression and violent language which I had never intended.
“You killed it!”
“We have to beat them”
Aggression has a time and a place.
It does not belong in the office or in a relationship.

Once I was aware, I was able to make a change in how I communicated.
There was an interesting side effect.
I became more conscious of how I felt toward other people.
I became more gentle.
I became more caring.
My mindset shifted.
More people engaged and listened.
I was more effective.
One man, one small change: it can make a difference.

Just a theory, share if you agree, comment if you want to discuss

During dinner last night, I asked my wife and daughters:

What one thing might get 10% more girls into Engineering?

For context:
– One started college in ME, and then decided that Engineering was not for her, so she changed paths.
– The other is starting this fall towards a Criminal Defense Law degree.
– My wife is a retired middle school Science teacher, who originally started college as a MSE major.
Each of them offered a unique perspective.

What was their key consensus?
1. They don’t want to be surrounded in class by men who treat them poorly, and then spend the rest of their life fighting stereotypes.
2. Math is a highly competitive class and they are under the impression that only the best of the best can compete in Engineering, and that all we do is solve tough math problems.

#1 is a known problem and something that takes deep cultural and behavioral changes. A topic for another post.
#2 feels actionable. A light went off for me. I believe that we have done a disservice to our children in how we have portrayed Engineering as a whole.

Do you think engineering is only for the best of the best in math? I certainly look for more well rounded team members, which is why we need more diversity.

I love math.

Most of the physical world can be reduced to math, in one form or another.

We can quantitatively describe every phenomenon.

We can create an equation, and compare one thing to another.

It may feel like and insurmountable task.

But it can be done once we know the variables and the values.

They can all be defined, and proven.

Even the unsolvable will someday be solvable.

Once we all agree on the inputs and the outputs.

Then we can agree on the results.

That’s cool.

There’s a funny thing though.

Pain does not work that way.

We all hurt.

In one way or another.

Your hurt can not be compared to someone else’s hurt.

There are no units of varying types of pain.

So don’t try to compare yourself and your issues and pain.

It won’t work and will leave you feeling like a child attempting calculus.

Then you will walk away with stomping feet in a tantrum.

Your pain has value.

Your pain is real.

You do not have to compare it to mine, or to theirs.

We all hurt, and every day we battle.

Every day we fight for peace and happiness.

If you try to compare, you are only hurting yourself more.

You are wasting the energy that you should save for the real battle.

Focus inside.

That is where the real battle is.

But if you need a break from fighting those demons.

Then maybe do some math problems.

I always feel better when I solve one.

I went through a period in my life where I did not believe in goals.

I felt that they left people wishing for something, but never acting.

I understand better now that this is not a failing of goals.

It is a failing of the individual.

If we spend too much time living in the future.

Dwelling on the goal.

Wishing and waiting for that “better life”

Then we don’t put enough focus and energy into actions necessary to reach the goal.

Build a clear vision of the goal.

Contrive a plan to get there.

Structure your life around core principles that guide your daily decisions.

Then live in the now.

Apply your energy today.

Be in the moment.

The future does not exist.

Until you build it in this moment.

Do you have a goal?

Life is going to happen.

The difference between winners and losers is who has the discipline to stay the course.

Your past has developed your principles.

Those principles drive your actions in the now.

Those actions now allow you to react and navigate the real world.

Navigation is what we do in the present moment to find a path to the goal.

Everything revolves around what you do right here, right now.

Make a mistake?

Course correct.

Don’t look back and dwell – or you will go further off track.

A series of those little mistake are all filtered out by time.

As long as you make corrections when they are identified.

We have to look up and check in on the goal from time to time.

But we can’t obsess over it.

If we only watch the horizon chasing the goal

we will get hung up on the near obstacles.

Believe in the goal, and know that it will change as you get closer.

Learn from the past and then leave it behind.

Discipline in the present.

What is your goal?